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Episode 20
The Onion: Obama Undertakes Presidential Internship
aired: Mon, Oct 27, 2008
Obama's duties in the Spanish government will include collating documents, negotiating treaties, and presiding over national days of mourning.
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Episode 19
The Onion: Cindy McCain Just Like Any Other Female Human'
aired: Thu, Oct 23, 2008
Despite the media's portrayal of her, Cindy McCain says she is a down-to-earth person who enjoys breathing oxygen and consuming earth food for energy.
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Episode 18
The Onion: McCain Left On Campaign Bus Overnight
aired: Thu, Oct 16, 2008
Campaign officials downplayed the incident, saying the senator was fine as soon as he was fed and taken to the bathroom.
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Episode 17
The Onion: Gunman Kills 15 Potential Swing Voters
aired: Thu, Oct 2, 2008
The Obama campaign is cautiously optimistic after initial reports indicated that most of the people killed were registered Republicans.
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Episode 15
McCains Economic Plan: 'Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress'
aired: Tue, Sep 16, 2008
McCain pointed to his personal success in marrying a wealthy beer heiress to prove how the plan could benefit every American.
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Episode 14
Obama Vows To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas
aired: Thu, Sep 11, 2008
In an appeal to working class voters, Barack Obama claimed his economic plan would save millions of backbreaking, mind-numbing shitty jobs.
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Episode 13
Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate Threatens McCain's Base
aired: Tue, Aug 26, 2008
Experts predict that Joad Cressbeckler could tip the election to Obama by attracting people who want to vote for the most crotchety candidate possible.
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Episode 11
Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election
aired: Tue, Aug 12, 2008
A recent election poll indicates vegan independents and skydiving widowers are among the groups that will have a major impact in November.
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Episode 10
The Onion: Study Finds Youths Don't Follow Office Politics
aired: Tue, Jul 22, 2008
Organizations hope to make youth see importance of getting prime parking spaces or a new desk lamp.
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Episode 9
The Onion: 'No Values Voters' Search For Most Evil Candidate
aired: Tue, Jul 8, 2008
Both candidates are stepping up their efforts to attract crucial 'no values voters' by abusing animals and murdering the elderly.
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Episode 8
The Onion: Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election
aired: Wed, Jun 18, 2008
Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper.
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Episode 7
The Onion: McCain Declines Secret Service
aired: Thu, May 1, 2008
John McCain claims that if elected he would save taxpayers millions by eliminating the Secret Service and defending himself instead. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 6
Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters
aired: Wed, Mar 5, 2008
For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 4
The Onion: Candidates Compete For Vital Idgit Vote
aired: Mon, Feb 11, 2008
Panelists discuss the "idgit," or idiot, voter -- the unpredictable, uninformed demographic that invariably decides elections. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 3
The Onion: Traveler Entrances Town With Vision Of Future
aired: Mon, Jan 21, 2008
In Hastings, NY, an enigmatic man appeared suddenly, beckoning people to join his quest for a world free of despair as he shook hands and kissed newborns. More coverage at:http://www.onion.com
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Episode 2
The Onion: Romney Defends Against Allegations Of Tolerance
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
Mitt Romney's candidacy took a major hit following the discovery of statements he made a decade ago that imply he isn't sickened by gays. More coverage at: www.onion.com ... mitt romney politics the onion
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Episode 1
The Onion: More Candidates Court Fat Vote
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
Presidential candidates are reaching out to fat voters on the campaign trail by eating large amounts of food. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
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