Barney Miller
Captain Barney Miller (Hal Linden) and his officers fight crime in this humorous classic TV series. Captain Barney Miller is the consummate boss, earning the loyalty of the officers under him. The early shows featured scenes from Barney's home life, but it was soon put on the back burner to emphasize the characters with whom he interacted at the twelfth precinct. Detective Ron Harris (Ron Glass) would rather be an author and even publishes a book about the precinct that isn't exactly flying off the shelves. Nick Yemana (Jack Soo) is a Japanese American cop from Omaha who is so low key he's almost napping. Wojciehowicz (Maxwell Gail), or Wojo, is the innocent of the group who doesn't seem very bright but speaks for everyone with his simple statements of truth. Dietrich (Steve Landesberg) is the intellectual who could be doing anything for a living, but chooses to be a detective. Fish (Abe Vigoda) is the seen-it-all veteran who can't wait for retirement, even though that would mean more time with his wife, Bernice (Florence Stanley). All of them worked together to make one of the funniest sitcoms ever on the air.
Genre: Comedy
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Episode 22
Strike (2)
aired: Thu, Mar 31, 1977
When his detectives join the rest of the New York City Police Department in a work strike, a harried Captain Barney Miller tries to run the 12th Precinct single-handedly. Among Barney's problems is a man-hungry spinster, Lana Lane, and a loud-mouthed prisoner, Charles Privette. Miss Lane is robbed by John Blomquist, who claimed to have gotten her name through her dating service. Officer Carl Levitt, the only union member not striking, offers to help the busy Captain. Miss Lane turns her attentions to Barney, who finds himself confiding in her. Although rationally he can accept the motivations of the men in striking, emotionally he feels deserted by them. Once Lana learns that Barney is married, her interest turns to Inspector Luger, who has arrested Blomquist.
Episode 21
Strike (Part I)
aired: Wed, Dec 10, 2008
The New York City Police Department is suffering from a bad case of the "blue flu," which is really an unauthorized strike. Since most of the force has called in sick, Inspector Luger praises Captain Barney Miller highly for the loyalty of his men, all of
Episode 20
Group Home
aired: Wed, Dec 10, 2008
Clad in women's clothing, Sgt. Fish waits for his partner on the undercover mugging detail. In the meantime, he must listen to snide remark not only from his fellow detectives, but from his foster children, Jilly and Victor, who visit the station with Fish's wife, Bernice. Meanwhile, a right-wing career soldier, Sgt. Joseph Ravelle, proves a difficult customer for Detective Yemana. Since the detective is of Japanese descent, Ravelle seems to blame him for World War II. Ravelle received a bomb threat at the Army recruiting station and had connected the caller's severe cough with that of a man who had previously visited the post. When a search of the mug books proves fruitless, police artist Carl Wilkinson is called in. Although he feels his talents are wasted on police sketches, Wilkinson does turn out an exact likeness of the culprit.
Episode 19
Asylum
aired: Tue, Feb 12, 2008
Detective Wojehowicz (Wojo) spots a kidnapping in progress and intervenes. He soon learns that the kidnapper is a Soviet diplomat, Bulganov, who is trying to prevent his countryman, musician Jininsky, from defecting. Aroused by Jininsky's plight, the detective immediately grants him asylum and arrests Bulganov! Captain Barney Miller finds himself in trouble with the State Department due to Wojo's action. Government functionary Jeffrey Stevens is sent to investigate and announces that, technically, the defector is free to go. Only the Immigration Department can grant him immunity. Wojo is angry that he must release Bulganov because of his diplomatic immunity. The whole squad is upset when Stevens informs them that no one can help Jininsky avoid recapture by giving him safe passage to the Immigration building. All government agencies, including the Police Department, must avoid involvement in the case. Barney is torn between the red tape of international politics and the touching plight of Mr. Jininsky, who so desperately wants the chance to live in freedom. The Captain decides to risk any possible repercussions and orders Wojo to escort Jininsky in a police car to the Immigration Office. Later, the detectives learn that not only was Jininsky granted asylum, but so was Bulganov! It seems that during Bulganov's stay at the police station, Detective Dietrich had reminded him of the classic soviet punishment for failing to complete an assignment, banishment to Siberia.
Episode 17
Sex Surrogate
aired: Thu, Feb 10, 1977
As another day begins at the 12th Precinct, Officer. Levitt announces that he is quitting the police force because he is too short -- only 5'6-1/2". Sgt. Fish is arguing with his wife on the phone when Louise Kaufman is brought into the station house, followed by her husband Arvin. Mrs. Kaufman had followed her husband to the New York Institute for Sexual Dysfunction, where he had an appointment with a sex therapist. She then shot him, but fortunately he was only grazed by the bullet. While the couple continue their running argument, Barney Miller must decide whether the clinic offers legitimate therapy or is just a high-class cover for a house of prostitution.
Episode 16
Abduction
aired: Tue, Feb 12, 2008
Detective Yemana announces that since he has won various bets, he will treat everyone to lunch. Mr. and Mrs. Wheaton of Rhode Island arrive at the police station, demanding that the police retrieve their runaway daughter, Barbara Lynn. They have traced her to the Light of the East Temple and Herbarium, a restaurant run by a religious sect. Detectives Wojo and Harris investigate and report that Barbara Lynn is 22 years old and, therefore, can do as she wishes. She claims she is happy and does not appear influenced by drugs or hypnosis. Dissatisfied, the Wheatons kidnap their daughter. Wojo and Harris rescue Barbara Lynn and bring her to the station along with her parents. Bodhisattva, owner of the restaurant and leader of the cult, appears as a witness. Realizing that Barbara Lynn will really press charges for kidnapping if they don't stop harassing her, the Wheatons concede. When Barbara leaves, Bodhisattva remains behind to chat restaurant business with the Wheatons and reassure them that his followers usually tire of the strict religious life quickly and return to their homes. A bit more optimistic, the Wheatons plan to dine at the restaurant. Meanwhile, Yemana's bookie, Sidney, unable to pay off his bets, has gotten himself arrested for his own safety. Even though Yemana cannot collect his money from Sidney, he is called upon to keep his promise of treating for lunch.
Episode 15
Fire '77
aired: Thu, Jan 27, 1977
Detectives Wojehowicz (Wojo) and Harris arrest young Thomas Vitella when a priest catches him robbing a church poor box. Vitella, who is an escaped convict with a lengthy criminal record, claims to be very religious and scolds Wojo for not attending Mass every Sunday. Lawrence Weiskopf enters, asking that he be arrested for the murder of his girlfriend Gwen Barrett. While Dietrich and Yemana search for Barrett's body, Capt. Miller learns that Weiskopf feels responsible for her death because he had not kept his half of a suicide pact. The detectives soon return with a very much alive Barrett, who had also backed out.
Episode 14
Rand Report
aired: Wed, Dec 10, 2008
A study claiming that uniformed policemen do most of the work and detectives are largely a waste of money has the detectives of the 12th Precinct up in arms. As a result of the report, third-class detectives must now serve uniform duty one week of each month. Det. Wojehowicz (Wojo) is the only third-class detective in the precinct. When Capt. Miller informs him of the new rule, Wojo quits rather than walk a beat. Meanwhile, Sgt. Fish is stationed at an old-age home trying to catch a burglar. After spending two nights at the home, Fish is shocked to learn that the residents of the home are stealing from each other to put a little excitement in their lives. Someone has even stolen the detective's wallet!
Episode 13
Community Relations
aired: Thu, Jan 13, 1977
When Det. Wojehowicz (Wojo) cannot express himself in court, a recess is called so he can organize his testimony. Frank Pissano, Assistant District Attorney, fears that Wojo -- his star witness -- will cause him to lose the case, so he rehearses Wojo's testimony with him. The case involves Louis Hauser, a pushy, obnoxious landlord, who wants to demolish several apartment buildings. One house is occupied by a musket-toting oldster, Philip Lukather, who refuses to move. Meanwhile, Det. Harris brings in Leon Roth, a blind man arrested for shoplifting. The store wants to prosecute, but Pissano fears he will be made to look like a fool, since a blind man will surely arouse sympathy and compassion in a jury.
Episode 12
Smog Alert
aired: Thu, Jan 6, 1977
A first stage smog alert causes much discomfort to those in the city. Sgt. Fish is particularly effected. He and Det. Harris rush to the Brooklyn Bridge to prevent a woman, Renee Pettit, from committing suicide. Harris later phones the station with the news that Fish has collapsed and was taken away in an ambulance. Meanwhile, Det. Battista has discovered obscene graffiti in a ladies room in the subway. The author left his telephone number, which Battista calls. She locates the man, Antoine McCarthy, and arrests him, explaining that it is illegal for a man to enter a ladies room. When Det. Harris arrives at the station with Renee Pettit, she is immediately attracted to McCarthy. Since McCarthy has no prior police record, Capt. Barney Miller releases him with a warning. As McCarthy leaves, Pettit says she also wants to leave: her suicide attempt was merely a joke. She has been stimulated by the graffiti which McCarthy has written on the cell wall.
Episode 11
Hash
aired: Thu, Dec 30, 1976
Wojo's girlfriend bakes the squad some brownies that has everyone acting giddy. Barney has them analyzed to reveal they are laced with hashish.
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Episode 10
Christmas Story
aired: Thu, Dec 23, 1976
On Christmas Eve, attractive Japanese Dorothy Murakami, a mugging victim, visits the police station to look through mug books. She accepts Detective Yemana's offer of a date, promising to meet him later. Captain Barney Miller ends a dispute over a blue Christmas tree by pointing out that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When two Salvation Army Santa Clauses are robbed while standing in front of department stores, Barney sends Sgt. Fish out in a Santa suit to catch the robber. Leonard Craig has been brought in for throwing a toy through a store window. When he couldn't put the toy together, Craig had returned to the store for help. When employees in the store refused to admit him because the store was closed, Craig angrily broke the window. Wojo helps the frustrated shopper put the toy together, only to find that it is too big to fit out the door. They must take it apart again.
Episode 9
Power Failure
aired: Thu, Dec 9, 1976
When a power failure affects twenty-five square blocks, the 12th Precinct is swamped with calls from store owners whose burglar alarms aren't working. Detective Wojo brings in Charles Keller on an assault and battery charge and soon learns that the man has two personalities -- Charlie and Lenny. Lenny had beaten up his bookie, but Charlie claims innocence and phones his psychiatrist, Dr. Catherine Kennedy. Detective Dietrich observes Keller and jots down notes about his behavior, which he gives to the doctor when she arrives. Dr. Kennedy is immediately attracted to Capt. Barney Miller.
Episode 8
Non-Involvement
aired: Thu, Nov 18, 1976
A Puerto Rican woman inspector, Detective Baptista (June Gable), arrests Mr. Yusick (Oliver Clark) as a flasher when he stops her to ask change for a quarter. Wojo (Max Gail) is in hot pursuit of a purse-snatcher and shouts to a pedestrian, Mr. Mitchell (Mike Kellin), to stop the thief. When Mitchell refuses, the purse-snatcher escapes and Wojo is frustrated and angry at being unable to enforce the law. He arrests Mr. Mitchell on a charge of "non-involvement."
Episode 7
The Recluse
aired: Thu, Nov 11, 1976
Graham Roberts was arrested or disturbing the peace after kneeling in the middle of traffic, trying to organize a prayer meeting. He a predicts that the world will end at 5:30 p.m. Jilly Papalardo and Victor Kroitzer arrive at the station to ask their friend, Sgt. Fish, for $100; they want to leave the Children's Center and New York. They depart when Fish gives them $1 for ice cream and advises them to return to the Center. Meanwhile, the District Attorney orders the arrest of a man who keeps refusing jury duty and is barricaded in his house. Detectives Wojo and Harris return from the assignment with Mr. Unger, a man in his seventies who hasn't been outside of his apartment in 35 years. He has no telephone, radio or television, and grows all his own food. He began coughing and choking as soon as he was taken from the apartment.
Episode 6
Werewolf
aired: Thu, Oct 28, 1976
There is a flu epidemic in the city and Nurse Jackson (Janet MacLachlan) is sent to the station to administer vaccinations. She must cope with Harris's (Ron Glass) flirtations as well as Wojo's fear of receiving the injection. While tourists Mr. and Mrs. Fuller (John Lormer and Queenie Smith), who have been robbed by a cab driver, are looking over mug books, a man who is convinced he is a werewolf arrives. The man, Kopechne (Ken Tigar), is convinced that, unless the police stop him, he will turn into a werewolf at midnight and commit horrible murders.
Episode 5
The Election
aired: Wed, Dec 10, 2008
Wealthy Mr. Crippen (Gilbert Green) has been arrested for his idiosyncrasy -- shoplifting lingerie. On Election Night, Mr. Crippen insists that he be permitted to exercise his right to vote. Wojo is given the task of escorting him to the polls. Meanwhile, Detective Dietrich discovers that a husband (Richard Venture) has locked his wife (Brett Sommers) in the bathroom. She sent out a message for help by hurling the toilet seat out of the window. Unfortunately, it struck a pedestrian.
Episode 4
Bus Stop
aired: Tue, Feb 19, 2008
Barney Miller (Hal Linden) is suffering from a case of heartburn and must listen to the medical advice of Detective Dietrich (Steve Landesburg), who hints that it may be some thing more serious. To make matters worse, a hijacked bus crashes in the 12th Precinct and Barney's detectives fill up the station house with passengers, the driver, and the suspected hijacker. Even with all these witnesses present and the suspect in custody, Barney is having a difficult time making a case.
Episode 2
Quarantine (Part I)
aired: Tue, Feb 19, 2008
A suspect brought into the station house with a high fever appears to have either smallpox or chicken pox. The doctor seals off the station with all its inhabitants for the night until he discovers what the disease is.
Click here to watch on hulu.com Barney and his detectives are locked up with a man with a mysterious fever, a prostitute, and Inspector Luger when the station is quarantined.
Episode 1
Evacuation
aired: Wed, Dec 10, 2008
Detective Fish (Abe Vigoda ) befriends a young truant girl who tries to hock some kings at a pawnshop. Meanwhile, Wojo (Max Gail), as the Public Information Officer for the precinct, discovers that there is no evacuation procedure in case of a disaster, and Calahan (Kenneth Mars), the department's gossip, spreads a rumor around the city about an impending holocaust. The bad news reaches City Hall about the same time a supposedly defunct precinct siren begins to wail and can't be silenced.
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